Controlling Anger in advance

It is better to deal with situations well in advance which may later create problems and lead to maladjustment.

This fact is equally applicable to anger.  If the emotion of anger goes beyond control then the individual may suffer from various physical, physiological as well as psychological problems at later stages. So now the question arises – how to deal with anger well in advance? At an earlier stage, if you feel you are angry towards some event, person or object, there are certain

ways with the help of which you can control or express your anger in most constructive or healthiest way.

Follow the traffic rules:

Yes! The way you follow the rules of the traffic while driving can be equally applied to real life situations. The red light of the traffic signal says- stop. If you are in a situation where you feel that

your level of anger is going out-of-control anger, first of all, stop the thoughts that are coming to your mind instantly. Inhibiting of thoughts at this stage will help you to apply your logic. Now, try to find out the reason why do you think you should be so angry?

At times we imitate the ways which we have learned from our elders ever since our childhood. If we observed others in our family screaming, hitting each other, or throwing things, then the lesson that we might have learned is that this is how anger is supposed to be expressed. Traumatic events and high levels of stress can make us more susceptible to anger as well. Now when you have applied your rational thinking, your body changes like an increased heartbeat, sweating, breathing have slowly reached back to the normal condition. This is the state of the yellow light of the traffic signal which says- get ready.

Now, with your full senses under your control, you are ready to face the situation, which is similar to the green light of the traffic signal which says go and face the situation in the smoothest way.

Control your act and then react:

 Anger might not always be the result of the unfavorable situation, person or object. At times, frustration, unmet needs, embarrassment, insecurity, hurt, shame, or vulnerability might be the

underlying factors that might have generated the feelings of anger within you. In order to express anger in appropriate ways, it is necessary for you to realize and accept the real feelings and immediately deal with it. It is always better to face reality instead of reacting merely on the basis of assumptions.

Avoid situations which provide warning signals:

Even before you are aware of your own reaction, the body starts reflecting certain warning signs,  like emotional feelings, anger is also a requisite. It fuels the “fight or flight” system of our body and therefore prepares us to either confront the situation or avoid and move away from the situation. If ever you have another chance to face a similar unpleasant situation, or a negative thought towards some person, object or event which made you angry, then it is better that you avoid or stay away from such situations. It is because, the angrier you get, the more your body gets exhausted. Becoming aware of triggers of anger in your self can help a great deal in dealing with your anger before it is out of control.

Certain stressful events that trigger anger can also be identified. Diary writing is one of the best ways. With the help of which you can keep a track of your regular routine and try to identify activities. Maybe you get into a fight every time you go out with a certain group of friends. Or it may be the traffic that you face daily while going or coming from your office which drives you crazy. These are nothing but the triggers that you need to be aware of and you have to think about ways to avoid these triggers or view the situation differently so it does not make you feel angry.

All Images are from Pixabay

To learn about our founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, click here